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If Only She Would Listen…Lessons for My Daughter

April 18, 2011

A friend sent me an excerpt from Tina Fey’s new book, “Bossypants”  over the weekend that was a prayer for her daughter, and it inspired me to share my own words of wisdom for Little D — probably not nearly as funny as Fey’s, but equally heartfelt. So here goes:

1) Don’t smoke.

2) Don’t date or marry a man who smokes.

3) Don’t worry about the boy you love at 13 who won’t love you back. At 33, you won’t remember his last name.

4) Do, however, worry about the boy you love at 18. He might become your husband, as skater hubs became mine. But if he doesn’t, that’s ok, too. You are only 18.

5)  Learn only the basics in math. The quadratic equation will not come in handy. And I will not sweat you for it, I promise.

6) At your wedding, should you choose to go that route, spend the most money on your photographer and your rings.

7) Don’t get in cars with drunk people. Call home instead, no matter the time or how old you are. Ask for your dad.

8 ) Don’t stress about the cool kids. The less you care about them, the more they will care about you. And don’t let them talk you into smoking.

9) Intern. We will help with the rent while you do.

10) Don’t be defeated by “no.” You will hear it many times before you hear “yes.” Clearly, we are prepping you for that nice and early…

11) Don’t wear too much bronzer. And groom your eyebrows, but don’t go too thin. But you CAN sleep with your makeup on, really, it’s no big deal.

12) Don’t just be nice to your brother. Be his best friend, his biggest supporter, and his most constructive critic. Be the same to yourself.

13) Work really hard in your 20s and 30s, so that you hopefully won’t have to after that. But play really hard, too. Without smoking.

14)  You can’t change people. Not men, not your friends, not your mother. Accept the ones you want to accept, move on from the ones you don’t (except your mother, of course). You won’t look back, I promise.

15) Know that the right music can change any mood.

16) Go to Paris. And then go again. And then go again.

17) Spend money on expensive shoes, handbags and jewelry. Don’t waste it on expensive makeup and jeans.

18) Create a memory box. Keep it small, and throw out everything else. Your prized possessions will edit themselves.

19) Don’t worry if you can’t cook. Some things are just genetic. You won’t starve.

20) You can hate me sometimes. And I can hate you sometimes. As long as we both remember that underneath all that hate, there is a love like no other.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. April 18, 2011 2:48 pm

    I love this. I have a son but I think a lot of this would apply to him, too.

    • WWGD permalink*
      April 18, 2011 3:15 pm

      Thanks! Interesting, been thinking all day how the list would/would not change for my son, too…

  2. Dylan Stilwell permalink
    April 18, 2011 9:27 pm

    Great words of wisdom ! Having three daughters myself I have found myself using each one of these in various forms, daily !

  3. January 6, 2012 11:09 am

    Very sweet post and as mom to a little girl, I heartily agree. I wish I had a letter like this from my mom. She’s shared some of these things by example but I truly would have loved some advice like this (although as a teen I would have surely rolled my eyes!)

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