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7 Little Tips for a Happy Marriage

January 24, 2012

So skater hubs and I have been dating since 1995. If my math is correct, that’s a hard-to-believe 17 years coming up. Been married for almost eight.

During that time, we have seen lots of our friends’ marriages thrive, a handful of them fail and many, many go through ups and downs, as the early years of wedded “bliss,” children and mortgages test us to no end.

But through it all, somehow, we have managed to maintain that relationship that most of our loved ones hold up as an example. And though not every moment is perfect, here are seven little things that have certainly helped us along:

1) Listen to your wedding song every once in a while. Dust off that vinyl, CD or MP3, crank it up, and transport yourselves back to that day when everything about the other person seemed nothing but perfect. If you’re really feeling up to it, watch the wedding video.

2) Eat dinner together by candelight. Not on your anniversary or Valentine’s Day. Tonight. Tomorrow night. A week from Thursday. Even if it’s at home and it’s leftover meatloaf and you’re discussing the bills, eat by candlelight. Don’t rely on “date night” to light that spark.

3) Follow each other on social media. Not just to make sure that ex from high school isn’t rearing his/her ugly head, but because the persona your partner puts out there to the rest of the world may not always be the one you get at home…it’s probably a little more fun.

4) Always pick up beer for him at the store. And make sure he picks up a bottle of wine for you. Do not run out.

5) Contrary to popular belief, it’s ok to go to bed mad. Sometimes you need that extra 10 hours to fume and you will likely make more progress in the morning.

6) It’s not always easy, but don’t fight in front of your kids. Not only is it bad for them, it’s bad for your relationship and shows a lack of respect for your partner.

7) Tell him all your friends’ secrets. Most everything you tell me, I tell skater hubs. Not to gossip, but because talking through some of our friends’ biggest dilemmas, heartaches and worries has somehow brought us even closer — using their experiences as opportunities to see how we would react/think/feel is the best therapy I have found. And it’s free. And don’t worry, your secrets are safe with him.

So there you have it. Seven friendly tips from a very happily married woman.

Take ’em or leave ’em.

Whatever you choose to do, just do not rely on “’til death do us part.”

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 24, 2012 3:43 pm

    This might be my favorite post so far. I love that you have been together since you were in high school. I think. Right? You are a special family and I think a huge part of that is because your tips for a happy marriage transcend your marriage and somehow cross over into your family life. I think the biggest thing here is R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Happy marriage = happy kids = happy life!

  2. January 24, 2012 5:51 pm

    Love, love, love this! I nodded my head frantically at each one. I am also very happily married and couldn’t agree more.

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